OK, so it's 3700 words. Same shit.



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Biographies
Name: Alfred Canuk
Birthdate: June 13th, 1985.
Heritage: Italian, but claims to be Russian.
Politics: Anarcho-Communist (mostly because it suits his desire to be a lazy drug dealer).

Name: Phil Summanen
Birthdate: October 85th, 2043 (pathological liar, and not a good one - claims to use the "Bullshitorian Calendar")
Heritage: Finnish, except for his first name.
Politics: Socio-fascist (doesn't know what it means, just thinks it sounds cool).
Name: Doug Bauer
Birthdate: July 30th, 1987
Heritage: German.
Politics: Apathetic and ignorant.
Name: Sven Gutenborgenskeenov (don't look at me, I can't pronounce it either)
Birthdate: ????
Heritage: Pure Russkie, man.
Politics: Whatever doesn't get him shot by the Kremlin.
Name: Allan Easterner.
Birthdate: December 10th, 1987.
Heritage: Eastern Irish.
Politics: Whatever suits the personal whims of the artist and/or author.
Name: "Bill", real name unknown;
Birthdate: ????, 1956.
Heritage: Moron, we can only assume (probably Polish).
Politics: Tough on crime, tough on drugs, tough love, tough leather, tough women, tough noogies, tough whateverdafuck.
Not having a real job helps too

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